Insanity

Awake at this hour when I got to work tomorrow. Crap. Shouldnt have slept in the day. Just completed an insane 2 weeks of preparation. Slept little, ate little, lost 2 bloody kilos. Shit seems to be piling up by the truckloads in anticipation of my final swansong next year. Things dont look good. Most of my colleagues are leaving in Jan, boss included. I'm at a total loss. Worst of all, Satoshi is leaving in 5 days time. Haiz. So sadded. Though its only been 6 months, we've been like chang and eng. Inseparable. Good luck dude. I hate to see you go, but I'm happy for ya. All the best, and I hope we can carry on from where we left off. I hope your successor would be just like you, though I'm not counting on that. I'll miss the nipple poking, farting, crazy shit, dota-ing. Keep in touch dude. God bless.

Took a long stroll today. Its been ages since I did that. Had a little conversation with God. Why this, why that. But the crux of the conversation lay in 3 words. Dont look back. I chanced upon those words on saturday night at life bookshop in JP. (dont ask me wad i was doing there alone. ppl ask all the time. Sheesh. wads wrong with being alone.) Picked up a book. Flipped. and saw "dont look back". I went back, feeling I just got a mindfuck, and I needed time to ponder. Tonight, just hrs before this post, I read up on Sodom, Lot's wife and the Gospel of Luke. Lot's wife turned back to look as the family fled Sodom, and she was reduced to a pile of salt.

Luke 17:28-31 (NKJV) says, "Likewise as it was also in the days of Lot: They ate, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they built; but on the day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. Even so will it be in the day when the Son of Man is revealed. In that day, he who is on the housetop, and his goods are in the house, let him not come down to take them away. And likewise the one who is in the field, let him not turn back."

Luke 17:32 says, "Remember Lot's wife." Remember I did, because I'm just like her. I look back too much, and thus I'm reduced to salt time and time again. Lack of discipline, lack of heart. I need to take a good break this December, and relook my priorities, my life. I fear too much. I need some balls. Goodnight.