weekend.

Pretty happening weekend. Went to celebrate dayah and haslindas bday. I hope you 2 grow into happy, mature, beautiful women. =) heheh.. Sad that faezah lost her bag. And another shocker, ok maybe not so shocker. The necklace i bought for peiyi might seem to be a bit small for her head, cos enlin made it according to her head size. oh shit. but it looks too beautiful to be worn anyway, just hang it as house decor? haha.

Today keneth asked me about organizing a year end chalet for the ncc dudes. He says desmond prompted him, like why nobody celebrate their 21 bdays together, blah blah. Perhaps he forgot, but the ncc dudes are the laziest bunch of arses i've ever met. =) still, i would be keen in having a year end chalet. hopefully it works out.

My family is treading on a thin line. Apparently, i can sense that Dad just can't wait to prove shawn wrong, whereas shawn is ready to fire on all cylinders. As much as i love my dad, sometimes, i blame him for my misdeeds. Perhaps if he didnt shelter me like some kid who couldnt see sunlight, i wouldnt have been so pampered. What irritates me is that he made me who i am, and then he passes me off as naive. I had to learn alot of things on my own as i went through my youth. So much for changing my lifestyle to make him happy.

Now for my university application, i wonder if i would end up where he wants me to be, instead of my choice. But one things for sure this time. This is a crucial point in my future. I cant let him decide where i end up. I gotta tell him i'm going there and thats it. If he doesnt like it, thats too bad. Cos i'm paying for my studies. I risk breaking the harmony in the family, but I've been living in his shadow for too long. I've been fine living in his shadow all these years, and i admit it has benefited me a lot, like not drinking or smoking, spending money wisely, etc. Still, its time to let go dad. Shawn is suffering cos you are still holding on to him. Time to let him go and let him learn his way through in life, not manufacture him into your robot. Time to let me go as well. If not come 25 Sep, I will break free too. God guide me please. I love my family, help me to do this calmly, with a reasonable and clear mind.

Yesterday, I heard something talk to me.
It said come to me, come to me.
Ahh, its all too familiar.
Its the skeleton in the closet, I think.
And it wants my company.