My first sin of 2008

Firstly, Lets start with 27 Dec, Joel's birthday party. I was the first of his friends to arrive. I thought it was a bbq, but turned out to be a buffet. People all dressed so nice and cool, yours truly wore shorts and slippers. hahaha. Met his fairfield friends, all years younger than I am. I gave him a book, "The Grand Weaver" by Ravi Zechariah. The party was good, heartwarming, and I had a great time. Though, I don't feel as close to him as before. A few old habits never die, and he still has difficulty saying the cold hard truth to me. Its just him, I guess. And I've embraced it!Hahaha. I hope the book can help you ask the questions you've been wanting to ask yourself and God. Happy 21st, and God bless you, my decade old friend.

31st Dec 2007
I went to church to attend my first watchnight service. I went with Mommie, and we gossiped alot about Dad on our way to church. Hahahaha. The moment I saw the leaflet, I complained to Ma that I shouldnt have came, because the people had so much lines to say!! :P Sermon was short and sweet. And then I saw this gal(not again Ivan..) who I've seen at the 10am service before. Obviously, shes a little cute, if not I wont remember(dentist must not see this, or he will gouge my eyes out). Heeheee. We had 5 mins of reflection about 2007. I thought about my life in whole, my future, my friends and family. I would say I've failed terribly once again.

And 2008 would be my chance to really pick things up. I cant afford to blow 2008, because I'm making plans, plans that I would elaborate later. 5 mins up, bells donging, happy new year. My first sin of 2008? Its a vulgar word, I duno why, but it just struck me. While everybody was jumping for joy and wishing each other Happy New Year, in my mind I thought, "Happy New Year. Oh fuck." I had to put on my Oscars winning smile and wish the people around me.

1 Jan 2008
Ate porridge at carpark level 3..it was good! Thanks to all who made it possible, and to those kind souls cleaning up. Me, dentist, Paul, Cindy cabbed to Al-Azhar's to have prata and to talk crap till bout 3am. Did funny stuff, dentist caught me digging my nose on video with his phone. Cabbed back home, sleep, wake up, go Holland V to lunch, with the same people plus Daisy. Played some real interesting games, though while playing settlers, I fizzled out, and played for the sake of playing. I'm clearly not cut out for such mind games, I'm a simple dude. :P We went to a void deck to play farkle and bridge, in which I came back to life. I won farkle! Muahahaha. Alot of luck and mind gambling. Hahaha. And Cindy had a kick ass time being my partner too, I hope.

Resolutions, Hopes, Dreams, etc.
My mom bought me a Max Lucado book, "Cure For The Common Life", for xmas. How sweet Mommie!! And its helping me with alot of personal questions, like is banking what I really wana do in life, what am I really good at, etc. Resolutions. Lesser vulgarities, calmer mind, stronger mentality. I lost all that in 2007. I need to get it back, to be the dude I was at the age of 16, and better that as well. I remember at 16, I had few struggles, because I was very absolute in my thoughts, lines I should never cross, things I should never do, all these to give me a conscience clear enough to sleep peacefully. And I succeeded greatly. In 2008, I must be better.

Hopes. To be able to reach out to Kok, Jasper, Colin, Joel, Ken. These 5, I reckon, are crying out for God, but they do not know it. Even as a friend, its been difficult for me to do that, I hope God helps me, and help them. I have been lazy in 2007, using my work as an excuse sometimes to not doing my bible study. I hope to change that, juggle work and cell group duties. I'm a fellowship champion!! I hope I'll be active, not like the dormant pig I was as harvest champ in 2007. My dream for now, is to take 1 year off after army, to do some meaningful stuff. I'm lookin at half year to full year mission trips, volunteer work, etc. Mom has given me her support, and Dad, well, I havent told him. Its something I wana do, and I hope he gives me his support. God help me too please. I need a lot of thinking and consideration. Also, I need to work on getting in touch with my old friends. I guess I'm not putting in enough effort huh, or am I just a little pleasure device in their lives? I will find out, and I'll continue to sniff out the useless shits I don't need in my life.

My workplace, boss's immediate transfer out, leaving me with a new boss, no 2nd in charge, new personnel, making me the most experienced(and i'm only 6mths experienced), and a very screwed up support crew. And oh, my immediate unofficial promotion to 2nd in charge. Means more shit. grrrr.

All this shit, worries, responsibility and accountability towards friends, family, cell group, I'm gonna swallow them all, and juggle them all. With God's blessing, grace, love and guidance, this 2008 can be really great for me. This is possible.

I thank you God, for watching over my wretched soul, perverse mind, sickly body, in 2007. I have offered worse than nothing. You have blessed me with a few lovely friends, a loving family, a loving cell group, to sustain me. I thank you for them, for their presence in my life. I thank you for everything, because everything is what I was given, and nothing was what I gave. There is no love like yours. Amen.