The Good News

Hello people!! I'm back after a period of hibernation. Still, theres nothing much to blog about. I went out with Dayah yesterday to watch Shooter. I liked it. I went out to have lunch with TS, PH and J. Pretty good. Pretty filled weekend I would say.

Anyways, people around me have been talking about university applications, how are the interviews like, blah blah blah. Then they ask, " Ivan, what about you?" "I applied for NTU." They reply, "Thats great!" "I got rejected." They reply, "....." Hahaha. Sorry about that guys. I wouldn't try again because I'm thinking of taking private studies. NTU, NUS, SMU, I'm not going to try. Why? Partly because I think my grades aren't good enough. They are not even decent enough. Mainly because I'm looking for courses that appeal to me. And the Us don't have it.

However, I was telling Dayah that if I had a choice, I wouldnt study and I wouldnt work. I would go pursue all the dreams I dreamt of since childhood. But too bad, life's like this. I have my own grand plan though. Nobody knows. Nobody will know. Its between me and God. And I wonder if God approves.

'Terrified by my sins and the load of my misery, I had resolved in my heart and considered flight into the wilderness. But thou didst forbid me, and thou didst strengthen me, saying that "since Christ died for all, they who live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him who died for them." '

- Confessions of Saint Augustine-

Many a time I have felt the same way as Saint Augustine. I too, have been terrified by my sins and the load of my misery. Sometimes, you just wish that you could just drop everything and run somewhere and never come back. Me too. That's because I live for myself. If I lived for Christ, things would be very much different, wouldn't it? But sometimes we focus too much on the misery we're in, we forget we're Christians. Thats where shit begins to fall on you. And before you know it, the whole avalanche of shit falls on you, leaving you to curse, swear, grumble, cry, everything but smile and be happy. All this because we did not focus on God.

This week, having taken the SOC test for the umpteenth time, I passed with a score beyond my expectations. I thank God for that. He has always watched over me. There are times that I doubt. Times that I suffer. Times when I think I'm alone in that bottomless pit. He still watches over me. Great is Thy Faithfulness! Time to go. Adios Amigos.

I froze when I thought I saw you that day. Why?