Chit Chat

I didnt do much on saturday. Went out in the noon to jurong point alone. Today is probably the most expensive day of my life, cos I spent money on shoes, a book, snacks and a cheesecake. Talk about shopping therapy, I never thought I would experience it. The weird thing was the thrifty Ivan here spent so much money in 1 day. I am astonished at myself. Haha. Maybe Kok is right, I am changing. Anyways, I was supposed to meet Joel for a movie later on at night, but he ditched me cos he had a family outing. Joel!!! You ditch me for family after all these years of friendship! I am your family I tell ya! haha. =P I met up with kok anyway..chilled out at coffeebean at holland v. Talked about relationships, gossiped a little(guys do gossip ok). It was great to talk to him again. You really think I've changed kok? Hmm, maybe I have but I just don;t know it yet. Haha.

Lets take a step back. I had cell group on Friday. Man, I missed them. There's nothing on earth that gets me so engaged in listening but cell group sessions. I remember back then, that cell group just wasn't for me. Haha. I was still a young arse, going around with an attitude that was begging for the world to kill me. Then I made the decision to go on a mission trip, then I joined Kairos. Never regretted it. They mean so much to me now, cos I know they're always there. They've changed the way I think, the way I look at life. Its just sad that NS is gonna restrict the number of times I meet up with them, but no matter. I'm sticking to them. =)

The new book I bought is entitled "Soul Cravings" by Erwin Raphael McManus. I've read like 2 books already this year and this will be the third. It was bought on impulse, but I'm beginning to like this book. I like it so much, I'll recommend it to you bookworms out there. Its got to do with how he's asking questions about his life and how he finds those answers. Perfect for me, cos I've got many unanswered questions.

Previously, I talked about taking stock of my life. I wondered what my life would have been if I had not taken the 2 big decisions in my life. One of them I would not say, but the other I would. At age 12-16, I was a rebellious piece of shit to my parents. It was only at the age of 17 that I asked myself, what if I listened to my very traditional dad and became that piece of work that he wanted me to be? Am I willing to be a kept child, am I willing to be who he wants me to be? I chose to do so. I'm glad I did. I see many people not giving a shit about their family and parents, it makes me pity them. Of course, I still go my own way at times, but I take their advice. I don't want to be a robot ya know.

It helped me look at things in a different way. It made me a better person. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't gamble. I save loads of money on that. I don't buy so much clothes, I don't go out so much, I save even more. Hahaha. I could have been a different person. I used to fancy surfing brands like rip curl, op, quiksilver. I used to be active in sports. I used to go out a lot. But I made the decision to be a kept child. My parents protected me from the evils of this world. I learnt things the harder way. I thought this world was innocent and pure and free of shit. Oh well, shit and evil come in bucketloads. They come hand in hand. One moment everything is rosy. Next thing ya know, you're covered in shit. Then if you don't control yourself, you spread that shit to others. Fantastic. I appreciate my parents for what they did. Its better to expose one to good first and evil later. Because if evil comes first, God knows what you'll learn. Though I became more laid back, I don't blame them. That is my fault. Dad, Mom, thanks for everything.

Its late. I'll end off with some lyrics from audioslave.

Well its late in the hour
and a few more grains of sand will fall
On the colourful flowers
that I've grown upon the dust and moss
Now I fear the worst is near
I hold them close and count their years
And pray a ray of light appears
to shine down on us here
-Audioslave-

You gotta hang in there no matter what. Don't let some arse dictate your life. You can fight it. And you can start by telling him to screw himself. =)