The End

I've been doing a lot of thinking these few days(as usual.boring.haha), and then i realized i havent blogged for real long. I'm not made of blogging stuff i guess. i dont make a living outta blogging, so i'm not obliged to blog all day.

I thought about what is one character or personality trait that would influence my next step in my studies, my career. Next thing i know, i thought about my ex teachers. Teachers who would try to impart their knowledge, along with some life skills. All my friends know me well as a english speaking person. cos my chinese sucks, and english is so much more fun. ok i'm biased. haha. Almost everywhere I go, I come across more as a "english only" person. My chinese is in ruins, my dialects are worse.

Then my thoughts went back to primary school. Parents aside, nobody else in this world knows, that english speaking Ivan was such a lousy student in english, that he was selected for english remedial classes within weeks of school, and that chinese remedial only started like eons later. What a great start to Primary 1. The english remedial teacher happened to be my form teacher and english teacher as well. She was fierce and strict in class, but patient in remedial. I got ass whooped by her in class(for not doing homework i think, cant think of anything else), but never in remedial. Ivan hated english. But because of her, he went on to do well in english, eventually getting out of remedial, and developing interests in reading books, in developing his english language. Ivan went on to get an A2 in o levels english. Not much to be proud of, since a2s are aplenty, but compared to what i started off as, its remarkable.

And because of that, Ivan went on to poly, though being a bum, was always tasked with editing the project reports. He might not have contributed much to projects, but he has an undisputed record of editing the language of all the project reports(thats all a bum can boast about). All this, from a kid who started off hating and sucking at english.

She passed away when i was in Pri 5 I think. Having fought breast cancer for a few years, she lost a breast, went for chemo, still came back to work, but succumbed to it in the end. I never shed a tear, I never really bothered when the school announced it. I was never concerned even when I heard she had breast cancer. Only now I realize, that this amazing woman, full of passion for the students she taught, for God, changed my life in epic proportions through the language i now speak today. Now I wish that she was alive still, so that I could pay her a visit, and thank her. Now I wish I wasnt so heartless, now I wish I should've made it to her funeral. Too lazy to bother back then.

And my other primary school form teacher, whom taught me maths. Extremely funny woman, but extremely strict as well. She left the school, rumours had it that it was due to stress. She then worked for a childcare centre a few blocks down the street. I visited her when I was in secondary school. Still the cheerful funny woman. Strong woman. Then I stopped visiting. Too lazy.

And another secondary school teacher, who taught me for all my 4 years there. He gave me great advice. He was a wise fella. But when his wife passed away, I took no effort to look at the notice that was put up. too lazy.

All my laziness has cost me, and to think that for a moment, I had no regrets about being lazy. My one of many great failings, is the lack of effort. I dont fall in place for things, things must fall in place for me. I'm sorry my teachers. I'm too late. This is the end for me. No more blogging. Not that anyone reads anyway. Hahahaha.